Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26 (NIV)

Our family vacation to Breckenridge and the Rocky Mountains was breathtaking and miraculous. On one hike, after lots of climbing and twists and turns, we stepped up to see a beautiful mountain lake at our feet. Another time, as we hugged the mountainside driving up a narrow, one-way trail with a cliff on the other side, it seemed as if we could almost touch the clouds. But the most miraculous sight of all was the five of us boarding our flight together to come back home.

Miraculous.

My husband took breathtaking to a whole new level in a not-so-good way. He suffered from HAPE (High Altitude Pulmonary Edema) and HACE (High Altitude Cerebral Edema). He had fluid in his lungs and on his brain. He didn’t adjust well to the high elevation. When we arrived at the urgent care center in Denver, his blood oxygen level was 28. Normal is in the 90’s. He spent two and a half days in the ICU.

I had prayed specifically for his healing and that he would be well enough to fly home with us. When he was still in the ICU on Friday night, I knew there was no way his doctors would allow him to take a flight home Saturday night. They were hoping to move him to a regular room on Saturday with a goal that he could fly home early the following week with oxygen. I called the airlines and made plans for our three boys to fly home without us.

Saturday morning, I went on a stunningly beautiful hike with our boys in the Rocky Mountains and out of cell phone range. At one point, I was high enough to see I had missed a call from my husband. As we descended, I was shocked to learn he had been discharged. He went from the ICU to free to board a flight. I was shocked, overjoyed.

“That is odd,” I said to my boys. “Dad is in the ICU one minute, and the next minute he is discharged and able to fly home.”

They quickly corrected me. “No, that is God, Mom. You prayed for a miracle but you didn’t go out and prepare the fields.” (Facing the Giants is one of their favorite movies.)

They were right. There were so many circumstances around the timing of where I took him, when we went, that if any of them had not happened just when and where they did, things could have gone terribly wrong.

We serve a miracle-making God who delights in answering prayers and performing miracles. My husband is living proof.

When Jesus was talking with His disciples about going to heaven, He started by saying, “With man this is impossible.” Matthew 19:26a

I’m glad that wasn’t the end of the story. But how often do I make that the end of my story? This is impossible. I allow my doubts or past failed attempts to stop me from even trying. Impossible to have orderly bookshelves. Impossible to be patient. Impossible to …

Jesus continued, “but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26b

Why are all things possible with God? Is it because He is God? Yes. Is it because He delights in doing things beyond anything we can ask or imagine? Yes.

My morning started with this text from a friend, “Happy first day of the month of you!! Very thankful for you!!!! Have a fabulous birthday month!!”

This is my month! Not because I was born in October but because I am choosing to believe afresh that with Him all things are possible. Every time I start thinking that something is impossible for me, I’m going to remind myself of the rest of the truth. But with God all things are possible. Then, I’m going to remember my miracle-performing God and allow Him to move in and through me. I can’t wait to see what He does.

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1Thessalonians 5:11

I messed up. Again.

“Good game, Daniel. You made two of your three shots. I’m proud of you. Can I make a suggestion?”

I should have stopped with “good game.” But I didn’t.

“You have to take more shots. You hesitated a few times and then didn’t take the shots. You’re one of the best shooters on your team. If you don’t take open shots, your team won’t win.”

And I kept talking. And talking. I wanted to be helpful and encouraging. I hoped my words would help Daniel play to his potential.

They only discouraged him. So much that his face was sad as he said, “You never said, ‘good job’.”

When I told him that’s how I started, he simply said, “No, you didn’t.”

That was a major aha for me. People may not hear our praise if it’s surrounded by criticism.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “Let me say it again. I’m so proud of you. Your shots were great and you gave God your best. I want to encourage you. How can I do that?”

“Stop talking after my games, Mom.”

My heart broke. Today, I was one of those parents.

I want to be nice, loving and encouraging. But my mouth gets in the way. My words were controlling, critical, and demanding.

So, I am committing this basketball season, with you as my witnesses, to be my boys greatest cheerleader. No more coaching.

More encouraging. More building up. All of the time.

My son has another basketball game on Wednesday. I’m excited to be his greatest cheerleader.

This week, I’m asking God to show me new ways to say “Great job. I’m proud of you.”  I’d love to hear your ideas.

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

“Please stop talking.” my seven year-old calmly but firmly pleaded.

Without skipping a beat I continued with my reprimand.

“Please stop talking,” he said again, this time with tears welling in his eyes.

He knew what he had done was wrong. He needed my love, not a lecture.

He continued, “I’ll take my consequences, but please stop talking. Your tone isn’t nice. Can I have a hug?”

I shut my mouth and opened my arms. Immediately my demeanor changed. And so did my words. “I love you. What you did isn’t okay.”

“I know Mom.”

He did know. After I reiterated my love for him, we talked about why it was wrong and how to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

I want my words to encourage, not defeat; build up, not tear down; to instruct, not condemn.

The problem? My mouth gets in the way. Just because I can say something, doesn’t mean I should.  Unfiltered, my words are often controlling, critical and demanding.

The result? I make situations worse with my presence and my words. That’s not my intention, but it’s the reality of my actions.

I’m not alone. I recently read that in the average home ten negative comments are made for every positive one. And it takes five positive comments to offset each negative one.

That made me sad and challenged me. I have to do better. I want to do better.  But I can’t do this alone.

First, I need God’s help. The Bible is full of wisdom and instruction about what we should say and what we shouldn’t. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God. . .” Ephesians 4:29-30a. Learning these verses is easy, living them is hard. But God is willing to help as often as we ask. So I keep asking. Lord, please help me. I want my words to reflect Your Spirit, not grieve it. Please silence me when what I’m saying is hurtful or unnecessary. Let words of love and encouragement flow freely from my lips.

I also need my family’s help. I’ve shared my desire to have a home that builds up not tears down. A home that loves not lectures. One that encourages not nitpicks. One that reflects His Spirit, not grieves It. They want that too.

One way we help each other is by saying, “Please stop” while putting our hand out like a crossing guard when someone says something they shouldn’t. It raises our awareness to the words we say without thinking about the impact they have on others.

I’m so thankful my son was persistent in telling me to please stop talking. With God’s guidance and my family’s encouragement, I’m excited to embark on this journey of better words. Choice by choice. Word by word. Will you join me?

Greet one another with a kiss of love. 1 Peter 5:14

“Good morning. I love you.” No agenda. No questions. No demands. An unfailing, beautiful expression of love. This is how I want to greet each member of my family first thing in the morning every day.

Why? Because I love them and want them to hear it from me often.

This wasn’t my idea. I got it from my youngest son, Joshua. As soon as he was old enough to run, the first thing he would do every day was run to me, climb into my lap and say, “Good morning, Mommy, I love you.” This makes me feel so loved and valued and appreciated.

One day, I was heading downstairs and noticed my middle son just waking up. Instead of hollering, “Good morning” as I continued down the stairs, I greeted Daniel the same way Joshua greets me. I intentionally went back upstairs and blessed him with a hug and heartfelt, “I love you, Daniel.”

Daniel smiled. I noticed he was more cheerful as he completed his morning routine that day. And for the first time ever, Daniel searched for me before he left for school to say good-bye with a hug and “I love you” rather than a “See you mom” hollered from a distance as he headed out the door.

I don’t know about you but my mornings are busy. Really busy.

Rather than running to my loved ones to say “I love you” I was often running away from them as I barked commands like “Come and eat” or “Brush, floss and rinse” or “You need to get out of bed now or you’re going to be late”.

And those were the nice mornings. Other times they woke up to “You left your shoes out please put them away before I trip over them.” or “I’m doing laundry and you should be grateful I picked up the dirty clothes in your room. I shouldn’t have to do that.”

When I started paying attention to the words I spoke as I greeted and woke up the people I love, I knew I wanted to change.

I don’t want to wake them up from a distance with a holler or a reprimand or a command. I have the privilege of waking them up one-by-one with a beautiful expression of love.

It never dawned on me one of the most important things I do every morning has nothing to do with packing lunches, cooking breakfast, or washing clothes. It is greeting them individually and intentionally and with a hug, kiss and “I love you.”

This is how I want to greet them when they come home from school or work, too. I stop what I’m doing to go to them, even if it’s just for a minute, to say “Welcome Home, I love you.”  I don’t know what has happened while they’ve been away, but they can count on a loving welcome when they return home.

And at bedtime. I choose to tuck my boys into bed with a prayer and a simple, “I love you. I’m so glad God made you.” No reprimands. No critiques. No demands.

Every Morning. Every Afternoon. Every Night. That is the goal. A simple yet heartfelt, “I love you.”

I recently had a family discussion. I shared my intention of always waking them up, welcoming them home and tucking them into bed with a heartfelt “I love you.” Guess what they said? They don’t just like it, they love it. They never get tired of hearing those words.

What about you? How do you say “I love you” with words so others feel loved, valued, appreciated? Glad to be on this journey with you – thanks for reading and sharing.